Locksmith Services
Locked out or having trouble with a lock? Non-destructive entry wherever possible, plus lock picking, fitting, repairs and replacements.
- Non-Destructive Entry
- Lock Picking
- Lock Fitting
- Lock Repairs & Replacement
Orpington · BR Postcodes · Same-Day
One local number
for the lot.
Locked out, lock playing up, TV or mirror to hang, flat-pack to build? Lord Knows How gives you clear prices upfront, tidy workmanship and friendly service.
★★★★★ 5.0 rated on Google1-Year Guarantee£5m Insured
10+ YEARS
Practical experience
Get a fast quote
Tap your job — WhatsApp opens with your message ready to send.
Free quotes · No obligation · Reply within working hours
What can we help with?
Locksmith & handyman services in Orpington
From urgent lock problems to everyday jobs around the home, Lord Knows How provides a focused range of practical services.
TV, Mirror & General Mounting
Get your TV, mirror, shelving or other fixtures securely and neatly mounted into solid or stud walls.
- TV Mounting
- Mirror Mounting
- Shelving
- General Wall Mounting
Flat Pack Furniture Assembly
Bought new furniture but don't want to spend your evening working through the instructions? We'll assemble it securely and leave everything clean.
- Wardrobes, Beds & Chests
- Desks, Tables & Shelving
- Packaging Tidied & Removed
Curtain Poles & Blinds
Accurate installation of curtain poles and blinds with secure fittings and a neat finish across any window space.
- Curtain Poles & Tracks
- Roller & Venetian Blinds
- Accurate Levelling & Solid Fixings
Wireless Cameras & Doorbells
Need a wireless security camera or smart doorbell mounted correctly? We'll securely position and fit them around your property.
- Smart Video Doorbells
- Wireless Security Cameras
- Optimal Angle & Battery Access
General Handyman Services
Have a smaller practical job that still needs doing properly? Tell us what you need and we'll let you know if we can help.
- Fixtures, Fittings & Small Fixes
- First Hour Included (£65)
- Honest Advice Before Starting
No surprises at the end
Simple, transparent pricing
Nobody wants to agree to a job without knowing what the final cost might be. We generally charge by the job rather than leaving you watching the clock — the price is agreed before work begins.
General Handyman Call Out
From £65
Includes the first hour on site installing or completing a pre-agreed item or task.
Get a QuoteUrgent & Emergency
From £85
Non-destructive locksmith entry — gaining access to your property without damaging your lock wherever possible.
Get a QuoteQuotes
Always free
Tell us what you need doing and we'll provide a clear quote before work begins. A brief description is usually enough.
Get a QuoteMaterials are normally supplied by the customer — can be arranged on request. Payment: cash · bank transfer · invoice.
Local, independent & here to help
Practical help from someone who cares about the job
Lord Knows How is an independent locksmith and handyman business based in Orpington, helping homeowners, landlords, letting agents, elderly customers and local businesses with practical jobs around their properties.
Officially established in July 2026 on 10+ years of helping friends, family and neighbours — following a background in corporate management and international warehouse logistics — now focused on personal local service where every job is done with care.
Turn up when promised
Respect for your time, every visit.
Explain things clearly
No jargon, no confusing quotes.
Work carefully
Own-home standard finish.
Keep things tidy
Leave you happy with the result.
"Lord Knows How isn't about rushing through as many jobs as possible. Every job is approached as if it were being completed in our own home."
— Bradley, Lord Knows How
10+ YEARS
Practical experience
The standard I'd expect in my own home
Honest & Transparent
Know what the job involves and what it will cost before work begins. No unnecessary work and no surprise charges.
Reliable & Punctual
Your time matters. We make every effort to arrive when agreed and keep you informed.
Clean & Tidy
We clean up after every job and leave your home or property as tidy as possible.
Fully Insured
Covered by £5 million public liability insurance for additional peace of mind.
Professional Equipment
Jobs are completed using our own professional tools and equipment.
1 Year Workmanship Guarantee
Our workmanship is backed by a one-year guarantee because we care about the standard of every job.
Proud to serve our local community
More than just another job
Some of the most rewarding jobs aren't the biggest ones — from installing shelving for a local funeral director to helping elderly residents through a local Help at Home service.
Help at Home service
Patience and respectful assistance for elderly local residents.
Local independent businesses
Shelving, repairs and fittings for local shopfronts and offices.
Homeowners, landlords & letting agents
Prompt, dependable maintenance and repair assistance.
"Trust matters, especially when entering someone's home. Every customer is treated with patience, politeness and respect, whether it's a quick job or something that requires more time."
See what we've been working on
Recent jobs around Orpington
A look at recent locksmith, mounting, furniture assembly and handyman work. Tap any photo to expand.
Recommended by local customers
What our customers say
5.0 rated on Google
★★★★★Posted on Google
"Great service from Bradley, on time and efficient. Put together a cabinet for me, very pleased with the quality and service."
★★★★★Posted on Google
"I contacted Bradley with regard to some floating shelves I bought but had no idea how to fix. He gave me a price and then arranged to come round and do the job. He turned up on time, was easy going and put my shelves up in the agreed style. I will use Lord Knows How again."
★★★★★Posted on Google
"Bradley from Lord Knows How did a wonderful job on putting a picnic bench together. He was friendly, polite, respectful and fast. I will one hundred percent use Bradley again."
★★★★★Posted on Google
"Really happy with the speed and professionalism. Would highly recommend."
★★★★★Posted on Google
"We called Lord Knows How for one of our elderly service users. She was really nervous about having someone come into her home but Bradley was so kind, patient and professional. He talked her through the process and made her feel very comfortable and reassured."
★★★★★Posted on Google
"We booked several jobs including thumb turn locks and smoke alarms in an HMO. Bradley arrived early, put everything back as it was and sent me photo and video proof of the works completed. We have booked him for all HMO compliance works in a new property."
★★★★★Posted on Google
"I booked with Lord Knows How as I moved house and needed help doing odd jobs — picture frames, flat pack furniture, mirrors and floating shelves. Bradley was so professional and helpful. The price was affordable and now I feel more relaxed and settled in my new home."
★★★★★Posted on Google
"I liked the fact that I could view prices before calling. I needed 2 sets of blinds put up and a large mirror. He arrived at the time specified, swept up afterwards and the work was carried out quickly for the price agreed. 5 stars, would definitely recommend."
★★★★★Posted on Google
"Great service from Bradley, on time and efficient. Put together a cabinet for me, very pleased with the quality and service."
★★★★★Posted on Google
"I contacted Bradley with regard to some floating shelves I bought but had no idea how to fix. He gave me a price and then arranged to come round and do the job. He turned up on time, was easy going and put my shelves up in the agreed style. I will use Lord Knows How again."
★★★★★Posted on Google
"Bradley from Lord Knows How did a wonderful job on putting a picnic bench together. He was friendly, polite, respectful and fast. I will one hundred percent use Bradley again."
★★★★★Posted on Google
"Really happy with the speed and professionalism. Would highly recommend."
★★★★★Posted on Google
"We called Lord Knows How for one of our elderly service users. She was really nervous about having someone come into her home but Bradley was so kind, patient and professional. He talked her through the process and made her feel very comfortable and reassured."
★★★★★Posted on Google
"We booked several jobs including thumb turn locks and smoke alarms in an HMO. Bradley arrived early, put everything back as it was and sent me photo and video proof of the works completed. We have booked him for all HMO compliance works in a new property."
★★★★★Posted on Google
"I booked with Lord Knows How as I moved house and needed help doing odd jobs — picture frames, flat pack furniture, mirrors and floating shelves. Bradley was so professional and helpful. The price was affordable and now I feel more relaxed and settled in my new home."
★★★★★Posted on Google
"I liked the fact that I could view prices before calling. I needed 2 sets of blinds put up and a large mirror. He arrived at the time specified, swept up afterwards and the work was carried out quickly for the price agreed. 5 stars, would definitely recommend."
Proud to serve our local community
Serving Orpington & surrounding BR areas
Based in Orpington, Lord Knows How provides local locksmith and handyman services throughout the surrounding communities.
OrpingtonPetts WoodKestonFarnborough ParkBexleyGreen Street GreenChelsfieldSwanleyChislehurstElmstead
Don't see your area listed? If you're nearby, send us a message and we'll let you know if we can come to you.
Check your areaFrequently asked questions
A few things you might want to know
Yes. Tell us what you need doing and we'll provide a clear quote before work starts — a brief description is usually enough.
Need help right now?
WhatsApp is the quickest way to contact us. Send a brief description of the job and we'll reply with a clear quote and earliest availability.
Contact us on WhatsAppGet a quote
Tell us what needs doing
Fill in the form and your message opens in WhatsApp (or your email) ready to send. Free quotes, no obligation, reply within working hours.
07468 894172info@lordknowshow.com
Mon to Fri: 8 AM – 8 PM · Sat & Sun: closed
Cash · Bank transfer · Invoice